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Friday, May 6, 2011

Happy Mother's Day

I've been thinking about doing a little something in honor of motherhood, so here goes...

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born.  She never existed before.  The woman existed, but the mother, never.  A mother is something absolutely new.  ~Rajneesh

This quote is completely fitting for my thoughts on the subject.   Pre-Emma was one me (that I barely even remember now) and post-Tommy I'm something that many days, you would agree, resembles an alien-like creature.  But, it also goes without saying, that I wouldn't trade it for anything in this world.

When you are expecting you get the first sense of how this new being is going to change you and how much you love he/she already....then comes the day they are born and there is truly nothing like those first few hours.  Of course as the seconds melt into minutes, hours, days and soon years, the newness dissipates, but the love is still there strong and sure.  Moments may pass when your role as a mother is just another part of you that you don't think of a whole lot, but then a memory is made that tells you just how precious and true and real your child and love is.

I remember one of the first things I thought about after Emma was born mean my Mom loves me this much too?  How come I never realized how awesome that feeling was to her?  Or more come I didn't appreciate it.  I thought I did a pretty good job of recognizing that despite our differences of opinion my mom was doing a pretty good job of raising me.  She loves me like this?  No wonder she didn't want me leaving house and country for the wilds of Northern Ontario.  I couldn't even imagine Emma being out of my sight for five minutes.  Looking back, I see the whole key.  I didn't understand my mother's love, because I hadn't been born yet as a mother.

When you are expecting their is also the whole...I know I'm going to love this child, but am I going know....really love them?  Or will I just do it because they are mine?  As a mother though, can you even differentiate between those 2 kinds of love (the kind where you love them because they are amazing and incredible individuals and the type that you can't help but loving them because they are your babies)?  The love is immense and overpowering and unstoppable, but it is also still there when they are being sassy or sick or driving you crazy.  That time (some days it looks like this "FINALLY") comes when they managed to quit wiggling just enough for those long eyelashes to rest on their cheek, and you realize again how precious that little (but getting bigger every day, as Emma reminds me) bundle of joy is.

Thank you to my mother for all the mothering you gave to me and a few other lost souls along our pathway.  Thank you to my daughter for first teaching me the love of a mother.  Thank you to my son for showing me just how much room I do have in my heart.  Thank you to a mother-in-law who raised a wonderful son, but then handed him off to me.  Thank you to great aunts who love my kids like their own (especially since they don't have any of their own and if you are reading this I would really like to learn the love of an aunt for myself...please and thank you)!  And thank you to all the mother's I know who are proving an example for me as I follow you in this journey of life and mothering.

To Mother's Everywhere--Happy Mother's Day!

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